whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
