I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
