Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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