am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
