xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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