im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
