The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
