i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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