i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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