grandma shit on top of the toilet
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
