There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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