capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
