This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
