I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
