AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
