Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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