i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
