You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
