Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
