$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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