Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize