Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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