I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
