Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
