it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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