Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
