Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
