remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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