I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize