How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
