I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize