I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Floor bacon is actually really good
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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