love makes seman taste better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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