And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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