So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
