yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
