We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
