Swine flu. Run for my life!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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