we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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