3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
