HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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