I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My balls are so social today.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
