I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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