no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
