I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize