honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
