oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
