her vagine was all disorganized.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
