I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
