We're like a lot better than the average bears
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize