Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
