Tell her she can't have a vagina
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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