Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
