38 yer olds are good kisserssss
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
