They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
