we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
