oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
two words...techno handjob
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
