Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
