make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize