I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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