Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
