How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
